What am I to do? To trust.
CMS missionaries Adam and Avril moved to Madagascar with their two young children just under a year ago. Here, Avril reflects on how God has worked through her fears and helped her to trust his sovereignty.
‘It is God who controls and provides for our lives here. It has always been him, wherever we are.‘
Moving to Madagascar
When Madagascar was first mentioned to us as a potential location, I cried. As we heard and sat with the description of life there, I couldn’t conceptualise taking our then six-month old son or any future children.
Fast forward to January this year–when we boarded the first of many long flights to Madagascar with him and our second child–there was an odd peace continuing to transcend my fears.
It’s not been without some significant wrestling and growth, but God has been kind in his work in me. He has continued to grow our trust in his sovereign care, both in our season of preparation and now as we serve in Madagascar. We are not promised that life will be smooth sailing, but we are promised a sure and certain hope in all seasons. It is Christ who anchors our feeble vessel in storms. It is Christ who cares for our children when we don’t know how. It is Christ who does much more than we ask or imagine, who has indeed, already done these things.
God who is in control
What am I to do? To trust.
It often sounds too simple, but my sinful heart can make it deceptively difficult! I’m not in control of my children’s health or safety, or their salvation or growth. It has been incredibly liberating to recognise this. This is not to say I have a ‘free pass’ from parenting responsibilities, but an excess weight lifted off my shoulders. Of course, we attempt to guard their mouths from unwise taste testing or drinking tap water (which is tricky at bath time!), ‘helicopter parent’ around questionable playground equipment, look like crazy foreigners with our children’s car seats, and try to feed their bellies and hearts with healthy sustenance.
Over and above all of these things, we are under no illusion that it is God who controls and provides for our lives here. It has always been him, wherever we are. And while the veneer of self-dependence is thinner here, it is a great blessing to see God’s hand over all things in the face of our own weakness.
Trusting in God’s sovereign hand
Reading the stories of missionary mothers in the book ‘For the Joy’ was a key moment for me as I prepared to leave my comforts and my illusion of control in Australia. ‘For the Joy’ is a tear-jerker, and became near impossible to read these testimonies as we prepared to leave for Madagascar. I felt as though I was reading some of my worst fears to play out in others’ lives. And yet, the pages of this book are full of testimonies of trust in our great, and compassionate God. I saw that these women didn’t crumble or fall in the face of my fears, but continued in faith, trusting his sovereign hand.
We are constantly discovering new risks and setbacks. Right now, I am nursing a toddler through fevers and preparing for new hurdles as we move further south, but I know where my help comes from. And I’m so glad it’s not me.
Psalm 121:1-2 reminds us:
“I lift up my eyes to the mountains—
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
the Maker of heaven and earth. ”
So, what am I to do? To trust.
PRAY
Pray with Avril and Adam for continued health and safety for their family, and ask that God would grow their dependence on him.
